Jay Vosmik

Monday, March 8, 2010

Angelina Jolie

So basically Angelina Jolie is the white Tiger Woods, but with a vagina. At this point, I could claim I had sex with her during her hot years, and mathematically, you'd have no choice but to believe me. Because it's true and now I know what it means to hear dolphins cry. Or whatever nonsensical saying that translates to me caressing a boob.
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It is alleged the pair first had a brief fling after she starred in the video for the Rolling Stones' 1997 song Anybody Seen My Baby?, while she was still married to British actor Jonny Lee Miller.
And it is claimed they enjoyed a second affair six years later in 2003, while the womanising rocker was with his latest lover L'Wren Scott. On this occasion it is claimed the two were seen going back to Jagger's room at the Oriental hotel in Bangkok, Thailand.

Oh, well, if they were in Thailand, then they were definitely fucking because, seriously, that's the only reason to even go to Thailand. Rush Limbaugh and a coven of young boys know what I'm talking about. In the meantime, these allegations are from a new tell-all book which also claims Angelina was cheating on Brad Pitt when they first met:
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Paul also claims that Angelina was sleeping with Hollywood star Ralph Fiennes and ex-husband Miller when she met Brad Pitt in 2004.
She also says that Jolie was dating Irish actor Colin Farrell, 33, for four months after meeting him on the set of 2004 film, Alexander.