Shauna Sand completely topless

Here's Shauna Sand in Miami realizing she has to up the ante to keep the paparazzi focused on her because, seriously, who the fuck is she? Also, the occasional nip slip and non-stop wearing of bikinis is getting predictable as hell. At this rate, the only thing interesting Shauna can do is raise the lost city of Atlantis out of the sea. Then flash her tits at it.


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Gisele Bundchen Looks Good in Blue

Gisele Bundchen was at a launch for a new Pantene haircare line and ended up flashing the crowd a little bit of blue underwear awesome. What I think happened is someone told Gisele that her underwear was showing, so she pulled up her shirt to look. Hmmmmm, I might be able to use gullibility for evil. Hey Gisele, I think I saw an ant crawl into your bra, you better take it off. Is that a rash? You may be allergic to denim, best lose those jeans too. Actually, just strip down to nothing, I read a study that said clothes might give you cancer and it's just not worth risking it. Trust me, I'm a pretend doctor.


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Katie Price has a lot of bikinis

Katie Price continued her calendar shoot in Ibiza today, and it's comforting to see she'll never stop posing like Barbie's sister who didn't quite make it in Hollywood yet somehow claims to be an "actress." Then why won't she let us see her movies? Or come over during the day? Life's so mysterious sometimes.


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MEGAN FOX IS SINGLE!

Just when you thought Megan Fox couldn't get any more awesome than globetrotting and wearing next-to-nothing, now it turns out she's not tied down either:

"I'm currently what you would call single I guess," the actress told Britain's The Sun on Sunday while in Berlin promoting the upcoming Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.

Megan had previously been engaged to actor Brian Austin Green, who is both the luckiest and sorriest SOB in the world for having and then losing her. Now Megan said she has her eye on someone else.

"There is this Korean Justin Timberlake named Rain," Megan told the paper when asked who she would like to go out with next, adding, "And I'm really on his situation now. I'm trying to fix this up. I'm working hard."

Might I suggest you go another way, Megan? I'm thinking perhaps a celebrity blogger who lives in a one bedroom apartment in Ohio with a dog? I know you must think that offer sounds too good to be true, but let me assure you, it is not. Oh no, it is not.



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Katie Price shows some nip during bikini shoot

Here's Katie Price on a photo shoot in Ibiza yesterday for her upcoming calendar, and I'd like to thank whichever ancient civilization invented such an incredible organizational tool. I honestly couldn't tell you what month is, but now I see where my beach balls disappeared to. On that note, someone should probably call off the choppers before they realize we're not looking for a missing Palin kid like I said during the 911 call.


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Megan Fox goes braless in Germany

Not one to be topped by the likes of Heather Graham, Megan Fox went braless yesterday for the German premiere of Transformers. Jesus. At this rate, she better do something insanely awesome for all of us here in the U.S. of A. Otherwise, there goes one pantsless theatergoer who'll wait for the DVD. Don't tread on me!


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Heidi Montag showering herself off in a bikini

Had I known Heidi Montag was going to pose in her bikini in Costa Rica yesterday I probably would've laid off the bikini shots while posting about her lame as all hell Playboy shoot. But these are trials of my life. Sometimes I think the only people who have rougher than I do are kids in third world countries. Then again, they don't have to go to school, work or sit through Twilight to touch a boob. -- Little bastards.


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